Where Am I? Another Fanatic Hit By A Turtle

I am ROFLMAO as I shake off that crash I just had while following that slow moving 100-year old turtle named Donnie Walsh.  Fortunately, all that I suffered were lacerations and a slightly perforated and folded Fanatic heart, which I understand can be repaired by some nifty last minute general manager type moves – the kind of moves that would be made by a good general manager or team president like Red Auerbach, Jerry West, Pat Riley or that Presti kid in Oklahoma City. It is now a few weeks before school is back in session (remember this word for your first spelling test), so tell your children to enjoy the rest of the summer.  It goes by very quickly.  For Fanatics the summer is going by too quickly, as we watch and wait for the Turtle to catch up to it (we do feel ya Turtle Don — we can appreciate that it must be hard to move faster when one is saddled down with all those heavy futuristic 2010 plans under his hard head shell).

No one wants to acknowledge it, as the Knicks’ mouthpiece, Newsday, tries to put a positive spin on everything Walshonian (did you check out the last non-report that Walsh was relieved that Kidd rejected his offer? Now how stupid is it for a GM to make a long-term offer you don’t want accepted?), but there is a major problem with waiting this long to sign a building team’s best players: a team’s success is based on chemistry which usually starts off the court at some point in the off-season.  Yes, chemistry starts with a core of teammates who act like teammates.  Right now we have Darko, Chandler, Duhon, Hughes, Harrington and Gallinari.

If you may recall, it was clear last year that D’Antoni’s system required an early start for its players to get conditioned themselves and to their teammates.  As you also may recall, last year the Knicks at least started working out with each other in Las Vegas around the time of the summer league when everyone popped up to meet D’Antoni and watch Nate’s summer league jersey get hung on the brick wall.  Sure it was everyone’s first time in the system and they all wanted to get to know each other, but it would sure be nice if someone acted like this season isn’t just another throw away. (Or at least reduce the price of the freakin’ tickets for this season of Seven seconds or mess).

The other problem, at least in the short term, is that this whole slow grind summer has really demonstrated how little respect and confidence the Knicks have in their own players; Lee, Robinson and Duhon must not feel very good about their team right about now.  First off, Lee and Robinson don’t have teams yet.  Lee has already expressed his feeling of disrespect; Nate is just chilling, waiting for the pen or the hammer (saw?) to drop.

Duhon is straight – he’s got a contract – but he’s gotta know that flirtations with Jason Kidd, Jason Williams, Andre Miller and, now, Ramon Sessions are collectively a sign that his willingness to work overtime for the Knicks after Walsh decided not to get PG-support last season, was not really appreciated.  Walsh going kissy, kissy with so many points also belies the myth that the Knicks thought Duhon played poorly because he was tired.  If they believed that, he should be able to retain his winter job after a summer of rest – especially with rest during a summer moving this slowly.

That hit I took from the Turtle leaves me feeling a little disrespected too.  I talked to my lawyer about my personal injury lawsuit against MSG, but Ms. Sotomayor (that wise Latina) told me they have the big bucks and a good strategy to defend the accident-prone Walsh – their lawyers at Newsday claim that the Turtle was not moving slowly in the fast lane; in fact, they claim, he was being patient and doing his due diligence.  I replied, yeah right, “He was doing his due diligence by pecking at the cell phone while driving.  He couldn’t get Session’s numbers right as he took his eyes off the road.  He looked up and saw the “2009-2010 Five Weeks Ahead” sign and bumped us as we followed him onto the rumble strip and into the drainage ditch. That Old Dirty Slow Azz Turtle Bastard.”